Dear Bruce Bochy
Dear Bruce Bochy,
Though I have never managed a major league baseball team and not played competitively on the diamond for a decade, I have discovered the secret to the Giants playing .500 ball, and possibly better. Tim Lincecum needs to start every game.
No. I am not implying that Tim Licecum needs to pitch much in every game. In fact every five days he should just go out to the mound, lob a couple of pitches to the leadoff hitter before being replaced. What will this accomplish you might ask?
Well, maybe you have noticed that there is just a good deal more confidence in each Giants player when they know Lincecum is out there. Rich Aurilla might be taking pre-game warmups and think to himself, "Whose starting today? Oh, Barry Zito. Man, I'm going to go 0-3. I suck. This team sucks." But then he will see Tim Lincecum in the bullpen (for you must have the real starter hidden in an undiscolosed bullpen). "The franchise is pitching today," Richie will think. "I didn't know that. He pitched yesterday. Shit, if he can pitch two days in a row, I can hit a home run today. I might even have a coupe other extra base hits. This team rocks!"
Besides the confidence it will bring your players, think of how it will intimidate opposing teams. They'll be thinking, "I bet the Giants have some dude I've never heard of starting today." Then he will shout, "It's home run derby" to his teammates. But then the manager will say, "Looks like we've got Lincecum today." And the same player will say, "What? That dude's a machine. He pitched yesterday, and the day before. How can we possibly win this game." By the time Lincecum is replaced by Pat Misch, the opposing team's confidence will be so shot they will not be able to come back.
I know this sounds like a lot of pressure on Lincecum, and maybe a bit disrespectful to the rest of the staff. But desperate times call for desperate measures, 'Boch. So, please, take my advice.
Sincerely,
Will of Still Orange and Black
Though I have never managed a major league baseball team and not played competitively on the diamond for a decade, I have discovered the secret to the Giants playing .500 ball, and possibly better. Tim Lincecum needs to start every game.
No. I am not implying that Tim Licecum needs to pitch much in every game. In fact every five days he should just go out to the mound, lob a couple of pitches to the leadoff hitter before being replaced. What will this accomplish you might ask?
Well, maybe you have noticed that there is just a good deal more confidence in each Giants player when they know Lincecum is out there. Rich Aurilla might be taking pre-game warmups and think to himself, "Whose starting today? Oh, Barry Zito. Man, I'm going to go 0-3. I suck. This team sucks." But then he will see Tim Lincecum in the bullpen (for you must have the real starter hidden in an undiscolosed bullpen). "The franchise is pitching today," Richie will think. "I didn't know that. He pitched yesterday. Shit, if he can pitch two days in a row, I can hit a home run today. I might even have a coupe other extra base hits. This team rocks!"
Besides the confidence it will bring your players, think of how it will intimidate opposing teams. They'll be thinking, "I bet the Giants have some dude I've never heard of starting today." Then he will shout, "It's home run derby" to his teammates. But then the manager will say, "Looks like we've got Lincecum today." And the same player will say, "What? That dude's a machine. He pitched yesterday, and the day before. How can we possibly win this game." By the time Lincecum is replaced by Pat Misch, the opposing team's confidence will be so shot they will not be able to come back.
I know this sounds like a lot of pressure on Lincecum, and maybe a bit disrespectful to the rest of the staff. But desperate times call for desperate measures, 'Boch. So, please, take my advice.
Sincerely,
Will of Still Orange and Black
posted by Will at
2:35 PM
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